Had some deep thoughts lately - it's seems there's two kinds of people in this world. Those who jump in and those who sit back and watch the jumpers. I'm definitely in the latter category. The question is, is it really living or just existing? Most days it feels like I'm just filling a space, killing time & energy for little reward.
Thankfully, the Can't Stop The Serenity project is helping me to step up & have a go. Here's a secret - don't tell anyone. After 4 weeks of trying to organise a venue & get the rights to the film, I was ready to give up. Chuck it in & walk away, resign myself to failure. Again. The only thing that has kept me going is the support of the Browncoats - both those on the Serenity Oz forums and those who emailed me directly. So to you, I say thank you.
To me, there's a lot more riding on the success of this event than just a night out at the movies & raising some money. It's about gaining some self respect and confidence, something I have been sorely lacking of late. Things have not gone well for me for some time & it's taken its toll. No matter how bad I feel though, I know that things are far worse for those closest to me. Not only do they have to put up with me being a grumpy bum most of the time but I know that they're hurting too 'cause they've effectively lost a husband, father & friend.
However, things are looking up. I'm getting better & this event will go a long way to helping me get there quicker. If you're coming, I look forward to enjoying the night with you.